Boondocking.  How did we live without this for so long?!  Call it whatever you like, dry camping, free camping, dispersed camping, primitive camping (or Wally-docking if you’re at a Walmart), it’s fantastic!

FREE nights away from people courtesy of The People.  Sincerely, thank you tax payers of America (including ourselves).  National Forests ROCK (I’m feeling old school today – Guns -n- Roses is playing in the background).

On the off chance you’re wondering, you can spend up to 14 nights in a 30 day period dry camping in some of the national forests.  I’m not sure how to get a comprehensive list of which national forests, but we use AllStays.com to find out spots and so far it’s been accurate every time.  (It’s an affiliate link… we use this ap daily and have a lot of love for the little app.)

Here’s what it looks like when we pull into a campsite for a night after boondocking for 5 nights:

• Pull in, hook up (Dump Black and Great Tanks. Fill water tank>Hook up electric>Hook up water)
• Announce that everyone not called ‘Mom’ must immediately vacate the Chief.  It’s the Law.
• Mom proceeds to clean every nook and cranny of the RV.  This includes (but is not limited to):
  • Sweep (first with a broom, then with a Swiffer)
  • Wash the floor with wet Swiffer because there are weird sticky spots which defy logic
  • Empty all trash (which is handed to anyone called “Dad” for disposal)
  • Do any random dishes that didn’t make it into the breakfast round (there are always a few tucked away in strange places)
  • Clean the main windows (because if I don’t, I can’t see outside… then I start to feel like I’m in a submarine)
  • Clean the bathroom… at this point it surely smells like pee {or worse}
• Pull the sheets off the bed, start the first of 4 loads of laundry
• Start a batch of pizza dough in the bread maker which will be frozen until 2 days prior to Grilled Pizza Night (GPN)
• Fill up the inside water filterer (Scott has his nose out of joint because I insist on it but I’m not putting water from a tank I can’t see and don’t know into Evie and Jack… I’ve seen Erin Brockovich too many times)
• Organize the pantry (damn you, bag of rice) and the fridge.  Somehow the designated space for the ketchup remains a mystery to everyone not named Mom.  How can this be?!
• Start dinner (tonight was a New England classic: hamburgers, baked beans and corn with a nice baguette)
• While dinner is cooking, continue the never-ending process of transferring the wash to the drier and starting the wash again
• Lay out jammies with diapers for the night
• Lay out after-shower clothes for the morning
• Lay out all shower supplies
• While doing all of the above, maintain a list of things that we’re low on so I don’t forget them during the next shopping spree.

Meanwhile, exiled to “The Outside”, Scott gets some nice kid time.  Their priority list looks something more like:

• Check out the campground (with kids and Boston – Boston is also on the ‘Go Away’ List)
• Locate a playground if there is one
• Find other kids for Ev and Jack to play with
• Scott plays on phone while kids enjoy kid time and Boston sulks (he hates campgrounds and leashes)
• Come home for dinner

After dinner, it’s get the kids ready for bed (a joint effort).  Scott takes Jack into the back bed room.  I read to Evie and get her into bed.  Usually she falls asleep fairly easily.  Often I put up a little blanket curtain to block out some of the light.

As she’s going to sleep:

• Finish up the dinner dishes
• Prep the done pizza dough for the freezer and put in a new batch
• Fold the laundry…. realize that there’s still more to do so prepare a load to do in the morning while showering (happens every time!)
• Plug in every single item in the Chief that can be plugged in… charge EVERYTYHING.
• Sit down, take a deep breath, write a little… realize I smell bad because I haven’t showered in longer than I care to publicly acknowledge… and relax until Scott emerges from the back.

Don’t misinterpret this list as me complaining.  I love it.  I am Co-Dictator of Amatorville.  In this role, I set the law originally and I carry out my responsibilities efficiently and with pride.  By keeping the Chief tidy and Team Amators clean (more or less) and fed (usually), I avoid what I consider the drudgery jobs like “check the oil”, “figure out why the propane tank valve is stuck open”, “identify the mystery substance slowly leaking out of the engine” and other greasy chores.

Yes yes… I know you want to…. go ahead.   I’m more than capable of laughing at myself.  Who has the  engineering degree?!

I wish I could give you a sense of how giddy it feels to have unlimited power and unlimited water. (Wha-HA-HA-HA).  When we’re in a campground it sort of feels like you want to pound your chest and say, “I am man…. I can do the dishes and rinse them twice if need be….. I can turn on every single LED light (all 8 of them) if I so desire.  Hear me roar.”  We get really wild and crazy… sometimes we even leave the shower light on all night as a nightlight instead of using our little solar powered LuminAides.  It’s fun. 

Tomorrow we’ll be back out in nature (a staggering 2 miles from a major interstate and LTE service.   Into the Wild this not, but that’s ok… it still feels like wilderness.  We had a visit from a coyote 2 nights ago.  He sniffed around the RV and howled outside our window for almost 5 minutes.  Now that’s just cool.

Quick note on grilled pizza:  DO IT.  This is the best pizza I’ve ever made.  The secret is to grill the dough on one side before flipping it and putting on the sauce and toppings.  Trust me – do it.

Goldilocks dang near had dreadlocks after this past week.  By the time we hit the shower it was touch and go.  Eventually, thanks to a handy brush from Grammie Denise, we got the sharks (otherwise known as tangles or snarls) out with the assistance of some hardcore conditioner.

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As promised, pictures of me using the products I’m endorsing above.  Let’s call a spade a spade. These pictures are not flattering.  Rest assured I looked through every **** picture we had before settling on these.  I keep my word.  {Insert some goddess bullsh*t here to make myself feel better}.

LuminAid

Swiffer