It turns out mischief is hard to come by in the midwest.   It's a low-key, wholesome kinda place (at least to an outsider passing through - I'm sure there's plenty of Footloose stuff going on somewhere).  That's lovely and...

We had just pulled into our campsite for the evening.  I kicked everyone out of the Chief so I could cook.  When there's hot oil within reach and two little people annoyed from being seat belted all day.... I prefer...

Citizens of Keokuk, Iowa: YOU ARE WELCOME.  Thanks to the intrepidness of The Amators, you had one night of less vice than normal.  Which vice?  We do not know... but we suspect it was at least one, potentially more, possibly three or...